In light of the fact that the holiday season is in full swing, and knowing how much some people enjoy being terrible to others, here are five ways to emasculate a man in his role as husband and father.
One – belittle his job, salary, or house
We all know that a man is only as good as the amount of money he makes, or the amount of material possessions he provides for his family, so if he lives in a small house, or doesn’t make much money, go to town! It possible of course that he may choose to live a minimalistic life to spend time with his family instead of money on his family, and it’s also possible that he’d like to provide more, but just can’t. But, these considerations shouldn’t stop you from potentially humiliating him!
Two – tell him ways to be better to his wife….in front of his wife
Nothing tells a man how worthless he is so much as when you comment on how he should be more romantic, or more down-to-earth, or more physical, or more encouraging etc…to his wife, especially when she’s standing right there. You could definitely pull him aside and talk to him privately if it’s really a concern, and possibly find out there’s an explanation you haven’t thought of, but why would you do that when the goal is to eviscerate his manliness?
Three – offer to cut the turkey, grill the burgers, bless the food, or start the game when you’re at his house
Yes, yes, yes, of course it’s his house, which means that routine and traditions and rules would defer to him typically, and he might have a plan to ask someone else to do those things, but if you can take charge before he does, you’re sure to make him feel like the jester, instead of the king, in his own castle.
Four – boss his children around right in front of him
This is certain to make him feel small, and has the added benefit of creating tension between him and his kids, as they now won’t know whether to listen to cousin bozo or their father. Of course it’s possible that he has different parenting standards than you, or that he has a reason he’s letting them “do that thing” that you don’t know about, but it’s worth the risk for the possibility of belittling him.
Five – Tell him that his wife’s doing a “job that a man should do” or that he’s doing a “job that a woman should do.”
His wife might grill the best steak in the tri-county area, and he might be fabulous at decorating the cake, but don’t let that stop you from imposing your ridiculous stereotypes on their happy marriage.
Well…there you have it, 5 easy ways to emasculate a man in his roles as a husband or a father. I hope this helps you in your endeavors to be a terrible person!
In all seriousness though, my family chooses to live in a small house, where my wife grills the steaks, and I sometimes ask someone else to bless the food, and I HATE when other people parent my kids in front of me…and these things happen far too often, even among professing Christians, and they really do undermine a man’s roles as the head of his household, so don’t do them.
As Christians, Paul tells us that our words should be used for the “building up of others”, and God himself sent his son to die on a cross so that we might be encouraged with the good news of the gospel. To belittle someone in their God-given role, then, is to say that God’s command to encourage is wrong, and that God’s desire to see us encouraged is wrong, and that God’s effort in the gospel to encourage us is wrong. We aren’t always able to know the ways our words hurt or tear down, but here are a few that you may not have considered before.
And to any who might say “the men just need to not be so easily offended.” That may be, and it may not, but when God calls us to encourage, then that applies to us regardless of whether or not someone else needs to “suck it up” or not.
Finally, I should say as a disclaimer that very few of these things ever happen among my own friends and family. I’ve been blessed with a great group of family and friends, and although they aren’t perfect, this post is written more from observations I’ve seen elsewhere besides among my family and friends.